Across the Great Divide

Kersten in a Larger Context of Meaning and Beauty.

MEMORANDUM

To: All District Personnel

From: Ruskin Middle School Director of Curriculum

Subject: Sex Education Visual Aids

By now, you have heard about the unfortunate mishap at Ruskin Middle School in which two students were exposed to graphic information about sexual development and reproductive processes. A boy, who apparently has also not yet learned the function of eyelids, threw his shirt over his head to avoid seeing the educational materials. A girl went home in tears, much like other girls who come home in tears fearing they will bleed to death after experiencing their first period.

As a result, Ruskin has received unwanted publicity, and lost two students to home schooling for the coming academic year.

I am sorry to declare our experiment with post-1880s sex education a failure. We will revert to the wise principles of visual representation of sexuality as exemplified in the life of our school's name sake. (For those unfamiliar with the seminal role John Ruskin played in advancing young people toward loving and mature sexual relations, please see the attachment.)

Effective immediately, the following changes are to be implemented in visual aids used in the district's sex education curriculum. The proscribed visual images are listed below. Acceptable substitutes follow in parentheses.

• Naked males and females in various stages of development (clothed prepubescent males and females in various stages of development) NOT chimpanzees or other primates in any state of dress!
• A bra (gingham sun dress; basketball jersey over a sports bra; Brenda Starr comic strips (Dale Messick version only). Note: Realistic images featuring deep cleavage, even with a prominent crucifix, are not acceptable.
• A tampon (an out-of-focus shot of a personal hygiene products shelf; an out-of-focus shot of a rest room vending machine; a calendar with the date circled) Note: The Tampax web page How to use a tampon is now blocked from all district computers.
• An infra-red demonstration of an erection (Until further notice, there are no approved substitutes.)  Need I remind you of the Kielbasa Incident? And if you have information as to how the DVD of Boogie Nights got into the library's sleeve of "Conjugating Spanish Verbs," please notify the assistant principal.
• A live birth (bird's eggs hatching; still images from the State Fair's Miracle of Birth Center) Absolutely NO SHOW AND TELL home videos.
• Vaginas and those whatchamacallits (a halved peach; the flower paintings of Georgia O'Keefe)
• Condoms (At this time, the only accepted alternative is a Playtex Living Glove filled with water, while reciting condom failure rate statistics provided by the  Minnesota Family Council.) Our pilot program with Clyde the Condom Clown was not a success. Some parents failed to appreciate the balloons on bananas as a metaphor, and some boys went home in tears when the banana broke.

It has also been brought to our attention that the program materials have stripped sex of its larger context of meaning and beauty. Effectively immediately, you are instructed to:

• Remind students that, while reproduction is a biological process, sex has a larger context of meaning and beauty, provided you are a monogamous human being and not any other form of mammalian life.
• Play the cassette tape "Handel's Greatest Hits" during all Health Education classes
• Refrain from answering questions about the immaculate conception, the sexuality of Jesus or the relationship between Viagara, Bob Dole and Britny Spears, if any. Refer students who have questions not explicitly addressed in the curriculum to their parents and/or their minister/priest/rabbi/imam

While ignorance has not been proven 100-percent effective in preventing pregnancies among 11- and 12-year-olds, I know you share my goal of preventing teen pregnancies at least until 9th grade. Thanks for your cooperation.

Attachment

John Ruskin was a renowned British Art critic who pioneered the use of visual aids in sex education during the mid-1800s. His parents, of Scottish descent, were first cousins who were so concerned that he have a appropriate orientation toward the meaning and beauty of sex that they arranged his 1848 marriage with Euphemia Chalmers Gray and accompanied the couple on their honeymoon.

Six years later, the marriage was annulled on grounds of "incurable impotency," although Euphemia Ruskin had by then fallen in love with the painter John Everett Millais, whom she then married. There is scholarly disagreement over the precise reasons for Ruskin's marital non-consummation. As leading proponent of the idea that painting must convey "truth," Ruskin may have mistakenly believed that the idealized female forms painted by the masters were biologically accurate. He was therefore horrified on his wedding night to discover that Euphemia's nether regions sported hair instead of the widely painted, but ill-defined, bald mons venus. Some theories hold other natural feminine processes may have been involved.

Naturally, a little less parental supervision and more accurate information might have  avoided this unfortunate outcome. For the rest of his life, Ruskin tried to make up for this gap in his schooling.

Four years after the end of his marriage, Ruskin met and became enamored with Rose la Touche, an intensely religious 10-year-old who may have reminded him of his devout mother. He proposed when she was 17 and for years afterward, until he was finally rejected in 1872 and the young woman died.  

Ruskin also repeatedly asked children's book illustrator Kate Greenaway to draw her "girlies" without clothing:

Will you – (it’s all for your own good – !) make her stand up and then draw her for me without a cap – and, without her shoes, – (because of the heels) and without her mittens, and without her – frock and frills? And let me see exactly how tall she is – and – how – round. It will be so good of and for you – And to and for me.

That quest to share accurate but not-too-explicit information about the developing bodies of children continues to animate Ruskin Middle School. Go, Aesthetes!!

Hail Size Estimator.

The hail chasers were already in the neighborhood when the hail came again. A neighbor said she'd seen golf-ball-sized hailstones less than a mile away.

I'd say ours was no more than fingernail-sized.

Hail is always golf-ball-sized, I said. People expect hail to be golf-ball-sized, so that's what they see. Besides, they like to exaggerate how bad it was. Nobody will feel sorry for you if you were hit with pea-sized hail or popcorn-sized hail. But a golf ball, everybody knows how bad that would hurt.

Today she sent me reports from Spokane where the hail was penny- and marble-sized. Told you, she said.

I found Kansas and Nebraska bombarded with baseball- and softball-sized hail. Suuuure. It's not as if the New York Times is going to fly somebody out there to do a confirmation.

The National Weather Service says, "We encourage measurement, not estimation, of hail size," but what fun is that? I also think this hail monitoring device is kind of a party pooper, too.

There are some standard hail estimating charts, some non-standard ones, and even a compilation of various weather report size estimations. But how many kids today play marbles or know what a moth ball is? And suppose you'd like a more colorful alternative to ping pong ball-sized hail?

I've compiled a handy comparison chart for your next hail storm, based on comparisons someone has already used. Notice it has a glaring gap between baseball and grapefruit. I don't know if that means hail is rare within that 2.75- to 4-inch range, or we lack appropriate cultural references.

Lower Childhood Obesity in the Future? Fat Chance.

The New York Times has an article today saying:

Childhood obesity, rising for more than two decades, appears to have hit a plateau, a potentially significant milestone in the battle against excessive weight gain among children.

Its story has a graphic, but it's one of those boring bar charts.

It is not clear if the lull in childhood weight gain is permanent or even if it is the result of public anti-obesity efforts to limit junk food and increase physical activity in schools. Doctors noted that even if the trend held up, 32 percent of American schoolchildren remained overweight or obese, representing an entire generation that will be saddled with weight-related health problems as it ages.

Here's a more understandable infographic I came across somewhere awhile back.

   

Big Ideas in Little Pictures.

Mark Trail illustrates one reason you need a gun to protect yourself from intruders.

And Yossi Vardi catches the global warming naysayers with their pants down. [via The Mississippifarian]

Holiday Weekend Snips and Snipes.

Posting may be lighter and less fluent from here in the coming weeks, More like this...

*****

I noted the blog of Johnny Northside shortly after it launched. He's a grad student who bought a bargain/abandoned/abused property in North Minneapolis and has been very active in trying to help turn the neighborhood around. Naturally, I thought of him when I read this Star Tribune story about evictions at a problem building and figured he'd have a somewhat different point of view. He did.

Liberals (it's the system) and conservatives (it's criminals) alike could use a more nuanced and granular view of issues involved in Northside living. Johnny delivers, with stories like this.

*****

Mississippifarian metaphorically looks down an aisle of Wal-Mart, and doesn't see the same benign effect of cheap consumer goods that Steven "Freakanomics" Leavitt claims helps moderate the growing income gap between rich and poor.

*****

I keep hoping to see a Minneapolis cop riding one of those neeto-keeno T3 personal mobility vehicles that the Strib announced with a rewritten product datasheet. Jalopnik has the more appropriate
story, I think.

We've seen the T3 Motion before, and the law enforcement version may look cool in this video, but we assure you it's impossible to not look like a dork on one. So if you live in Minneapolis and are a police officer, prepare to look like a dork. Sure you'll be able to drive up to 25 MPH and run all day on just 11 cents of juice, tower over crowds, and get into tight spots a cruiser never could, but even bike cops will laugh at you. Plus it costs the city $10,000 so you're even going to out-nerd the Segway drivers.

If you want to be cool, fast and intimidating, bag the chariot and keep the horses.

*****

Charles R. Black Jr., the senior adviser to Republican John McCain whose work for foreign dictators has led Democrats to call for his ouster, is not the only lobbyist in the family volunteering on the senator from Arizona's presidential campaign.

His wife, Judy Black, is a national co-chair of the fundraising group "Women for McCain," and she has a vibrant lobbying practice that includes a foreign client and several companies with business before the Senate Commerce Committee, where McCain is a senior member.

— Washington Post

Judy Bergman Black was a high school classmate of mine. She and Charlie came to our 40th reunion last year. We didn't get a chance to talk, as they only attended the dinner and hung at the back while I announced a newly discovered set of class prophecies that had projected 40 years in the future.

Black, who was named Biggest Brown-noser by the Class of 1967, was "predicted" to hold the same honor in 2007. In some quarters, I guess that could also be interpreted as Most Likely to Succeed.

And, no, I wasn't forecast as Most Likely to be an Asshole.

*****

And the New York Times soothes my fevered brain.

When older people can no longer remember names at a cocktail party, they tend to think that their brainpower is declining. But a growing number of studies suggest that this assumption is often wrong.

Instead, the research finds, the aging brain is simply taking in more data and trying to sift through a clutter of information, often to its long-term benefit.

*****

Finally, here's a workout video for candidates who need to disavow knowledge of inconvenient associations with lobbyists and their clients.

 

Wasted Energy, For Sure.

Twin City Sidewalks links to a year-old post at the satiric Journal of American Rocket Science. It concerns a letter from an Arkansas woman who believes daylight saving time was moved earlier as part of a liberal plot to convince the gullible that global warming is real.

That letter was written tongue-in-cheek, as was one claiming DST would ruin Aspen's skiing. I'm not sure about the reader complaint I recently heard from a former Colorado newspaper publisher  that the "extra hour of daylight" in the spring would cause problems with the crops. 

Daylight saving time has also been tagged with increased auto fatalities (due to more accidents resulting from lost sleep), killing the drive-in movie and increased energy usage due to shifts in heating and cooling. The Wall Street Journal loved the last one, but there were issues with the study, including the fact the researchers looked only at residential electrical use. (About 74% of single family homes use natural gas or other petroleum-based fuel for space and water heating, which accounts for nearly 65% of home energy use.)

Arguments for DST include reduced auto fatalities (since most accidents occur in evening hours), extra Halloween candy sales and more sales of outdoor barbecuing supplies and golf equipment.

All I'm sure of is that I wasted a couple hours of beautiful Sunday daylight researching this.

Down, Uh, Boy?!

This demo video of a pack animal robot called Big Dog is either extremely cool or disquieting. Would a head make it better or worse?

Since it's still being developed for the Defense Department, I expect we have a grace period before Hummer owners can buy the consumer version.

Bachmann Strikes Another Blow for Freedom.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) is not stopping her crusade for consumer choice. Buoyed by the enthusiastic reception for her "Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act," Rep. Bachmann has sponsored a new bill, the "Leaded Gasoline Emancipation Act."

"There was a tragic rush to judgment after the EPA proposed banning leaded gasoline in 1972," said Bachmann. "It claimed to study health effects of banning lead, but no studies were ever completed on the future impact of unleaded gasoline on classic car collectors, for example.

"Now, our domestic lead industry is in shambles at a time we desperately need the higher octane and fuel efficiency of leaded gasoline. My bill will help free us from dependence on corn and Islamic Oil, while offsetting the energy demands made by Americans exercising their free choice of incandescent light bulbs."

When questioned whether the health and environmental costs could be justified economically, Bachmann responded, "I think the American people understand freedom is more important than brain damage."

Why Do Religious Conservatives Kill Their Kids?

On June 20, 2001, Andrea Yates drowned her five children, who ranged in age from six months to seven years, in a bathtub in her home. Prior to this, she had manifested symptoms of depression with psychosis, which were exacerbated in her postpartum periods. She had been hospitalized four times and was catatonic and mute during one admission. In statements made following the crime, she indicated that she believed that she was a bad mother and that she had concerns that her children would not grow up properly secondary to her shortcomings. She noted that she killed them to save them from eternal damnation.
— Psychiatry MMC

Here's a topic for study by some enterprising PhD student: Do more religious conservatives than liberals murder their children?

(You can spare me the comments about abortion. I'm talking about filicide here — and even more, our stupid tendency to explain differences in complex behaviors based on a generalized political affiliation.)

I was thinking about this even before George Will's latest column about how conservatives are more generous than liberals, which I'll take up in a separate post.

In Wisconsin this week, the home schooled daughter of a fundamentalist family died because her diabetes was left untreated. The mother says they are not crazy, religious people who belong to any organized faith. She just writes for an end-of-days ministry website on the side and actively proselytizes other women. Her sister-in-law, who called the sheriff, seemed to think there was a problem.

The aunt: "My sister-in-law, she’s very religious, she believes in faith instead of doctors ... and she called my mother-in-law today ... and she explained to us that she believes her daughter’s in a coma now and she’s relying on faith. ..."

The dispatcher got more information from the caller and asked if an ambulance should be sent.

The aunt: "Please. I mean, she’s refusing. She’s gonna fight it so ... We’ve been trying to get her to take her to the hospital for a week, a few days now so."

In Iowa, an embezzling banker bludgeoned his wife and four kids to death before killing himself. In communications left behind, he indicated he believed his family was in heaven.

And, not to leave anyone out, a Muslim cab driver in Canada strangled his 16-year-old daughter because she refused to submit to his control and demands she wear traditional Muslim garb.

I've looked for a study that examines the role of political and religious beliefs of parents who murder their children. Haven't found one. But golly, the circumstantial evidence doesn't look good, does it? And it stands to reason, when you decide to kill your kids with a baseball bat, the idea you're sending them to heaven might lets you swing just a little more freely.

Anyone offended yet? No, I'm not calling all religious fundamentalists child murderers. But if there's a pattern of behavior that could lead to prevention, wouldn't it be good to understand it?

Psychiatric researchers may not see much merit in testing my only half-serious hypothesis. The research already indicates that filicide is a multidimensional crime, and like most human behavior, is not likely to reduce down to red state/blue state simplification.

But it's hard to shake that whenever I see news of a suicide bomber or a murderous parent, God shows up pretty frequently in the story. John Kerry bumper stickers, not so much.

Non-Compassionate Conservatives, Here's Your Chance!

Using brain scans, University of Wisconsin researchers have isolated a region of the brain — the insula — that plays a significant role in positive emotions such as loving-kindness and compassion.

"The insula is extremely important in detecting emotions in general and specifically in mapping bodily responses to emotion - such as heart rate and blood pressure - and making that information available to other parts of the brain," says Davidson, also co-director of the HealthEmotions Research Institute.

Activity also increased in the temporal parietal juncture, particularly the right hemisphere. Studies have implicated this area as important in processing empathy, especially in perceiving the mental and emotional state of others.

The study findings suggest that an individual's level of of empathy or compassion can be increased, and that practice — in this case meditation —  people can

develop skills that promote happiness and compassion. "People are not just stuck at their respective set points," he says. "We can take advantage of our brain's plasticity and train it to enhance these qualities."

How soon before certain legislators call for the project's funding to be cut off?