What They Never Show You on TV.

Delmon Young is one of the younger players on a young Twins team that has some exciting talent, and I mean that in all senses of the word.

Carlos Gomez beat out a sacrifice bunt that looked like it was hit too hard to the first baseman by simply outrunning the ball and diving head first into right field, tagging first as he flew by. Later he made a diving catch in center and beat a throw to home to score one of the Twins' seven runs in a shutout of the Tigers.

Had the game been broadcast, you would've seen all those heroics, plus Delmon Young's two doubles and a knee-high catch of a fly ball in left that would've made you swear this was a night game. How else to explain the headlights?

Though Young's fielding lacks what us old timers would call anticipation, he did teach us a new trick during his between-inning warm ups.

At home, the left fielder exchanges tosses with one of the bullpen pitchers. Early on, Young dropped a throw from Brian Bass. Later, he completely missed a ball from Craig Breslow. As Young jogged to retrieve it, Breslow looked to the bullpen in disbelief, miming the trajectory of the ball over his glove.

Naturally, this enhances your excitement about a ball hit to left in way you simply can't experience watching at home

Next inning, I noticed Young purposely dropped a throw, and then repeated it in successive innings.

I would like to announce that henceforth, that typos, misspellings and occasional head-slapping misses are an intentional part of my routine.


For Brodkorb is an Honorable Man.

Selfp2_2

I speak not to disprove what Brodkorb spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
I read his words and ask, what sort of man wrote this?

When the story broke that on Minnesota Democrats Exposed that Al Franken hadn’t paid his workers compensation premiums for three years, Team Franken denied it. It wasn’t until the State of New York made it clear that not only hadn’t Franken paid his premiums, but that someone had apparently blown off more than a dozen letters – including a signed, certified letter telling him to pay his premiums, and then telling him to pay a $25,000 fine.

Oh yes, the labored syntax at the start
Might signify that this could be our man.
Self-reference and scarlet typography —
How could such a constant drone be plagiary?
For Franken hath transgressed against the state
While Brodkorb is an honorable man.

And yet, this alien diction
This length, so lexically complex
The Gunning-Fog near triple what we've come to know
And loathe. Analysis,
Algorithmic, doth suggest
That someone else hath spoken in his stead.
But Brodkorb is an honorable man.

Not faithful readers, nor patrons, nor keepers,
Not buttboys, Publii nor seraphim
No caries nor cadres nor campaigners
Could put words in this man's mouth.
For Brodkorb is an honorable man.

My ethics are not governed by legal interpretations.
I am continually aware of my responsibility to disclose.
Any attempt to connect Me to any political or non-political clients
Is ridiculous,
For Brodkorb is an honorable man.

Alas, I have no documents or facts
To prove another authorship or attribution lax.
I've come to doubt my congeries of hacks
For Brodkorb is an honorable man.

[h/t Joe Bodell, who first noticed a certain stylistic inconsistency]

Bush Facing Trial, But First...

WHAT IS YOUR GOAL AS A PLAYWRIGHT?
I didn’t realize playwrights were required to have goals. It may be that I’m a playwright because I have no goal.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW NOW THAT YOU WISH YOU KNEW WHEN YOU BEGAN PLAYWRITING?
That kissing ass is a life-skill.
— Lee Blessing, quoted in The Playwright' Center's Dialogue

Default The title of Lee Blessing's latest play, "When We Go Upon the Sea," sounded so familiar that I went searching for its literary reference. A Quaker hymn? Something from Yeats's "The Shadowy Waters"? A line from Edward Lear?

But all Google returned on that search string of six simple but resonant words were a few pages announcing its upcoming staged reading at the Guthrie Theater, Monday May 19th, and this description:

A man named George Bush arrives one evening in The Hague, Netherlands, where he faces the difficult task of going on trial the next day. Before that, however, he has an equally difficult job: getting through the night.

Not a literal depiction of the historical President Bush — or even a projection of his future — the play deals with the decisions he's made and why he made them.

Don't mistake a staged reading for a very watered-down live production. With professional actors, no sets and minimal stage business, a reading focuses your attention on the writing — its beauty and its meaning. Think a story being told through a poetry reading for multiple voices.

I'd be there even if I weren't affiliated with The Playwrights' Center, which is working with Blessing to develop the script.

"I just felt there was good that I could do."

At least there was no meth, and the prostitute's name was Kristen instead of Mike. But otherwise, there are not many degrees of separation between Client 9 and the Rev. Ted Haggard.

Why do certain personalities strike positions of extreme moral authority? It only looks like they are trying to impose rules on others. The real struggle for control is within.

There will be enough people working the sex, politics, hubris and hypocrisy angles. (This morning's New York Times story on Gov. Spitzer listed 26 contributing reporters.) I want to wander in another direction.

Just last week a different story of deceptive rectitude was playing out. A newly released memoir by Margaret B. Jones was exposed as a fake.

"Jones" had presented herself as a troubled child cum redeemed gang member who had lived in the foster  home of a black woman in South Los Angeles. In fact, she was Margaret Seltzer, a former creative writing student at the University of Oregon who grew up in Sherman Oaks and attended an exclusive private school.

Jones/Seltzer's book was praised in a review that must now make the writer cringe.

Ms. Jones’s portraits of her family and friends are so sympathetic and unsentimental, so raw and tender and tough-minded that it’s clear to the reader that whatever detachment she learned as a child did not impair her capacity for caring. Instead it heightened her powers of observation, enabling her to write with a novelist’s eye for the psychological detail and an anthropologist’s eye for social rituals and routines.

Her current life was profiled in a photo feature that allowed her to continue to embellish her fictional  persona.

Unlike several other recent gang memoirs, all written by men, Ms. Jones’s story is told from a nurturer’s point of view. Along with grit and blood, every chapter describes tenderness and love between people as well as the rites and details of domestic life.

[...]

I guess people get their ideas from TV, which is so one-dimensional and gives you no back story,” she said. 

“The reason I wanted to write the book is that all the time, people would say to me, you’re not what I imagine someone from South L.A. would be like.”

No, she wasn't. And yet no one could tell.

Not her writing professors, who introduced her to a magazine writer, who put her in touch with her agent, who got her a book deal from a well-connected New York publisher. None detected inauthentic notes in passages that shifted from writing class-consciousness...

eager to earn my own money toward the flame-red Nike Cortez with fat laces that everyone else wore, but even more excited to prove myself worthy of wearing the affiliated color and moving up the ranks.

to a cop-show-cliche brother who said he didn't want her to visit him in prison because it

“was killin me,” and he’d decided he wasn’t going to “even find out what was up wit y’all.” He had to do his “time solo” or he “ain gonna make it.”

Forget due diligence and fact checking. All were lulled into seeing the great American myth of the kid who makes it despite the odds. And no one in this entire chain of promotion had real life experience close enough to what was being portrayed that any alarms went off.

It sounded right because it sounded like what we've been fed in movies and television. Seltzer's innovation was changing the point of view.

LA Times columnist Tim Rutten, citing historian Patricia Limerick's observation that our literary judgments remain hostage to the ideology of authenticity, saw another wrinkle:

[T]he only unchallenged moral authority has become that of victims. This should not be read as an expression of sympathy toward the injured; instead, it's really an extension of the culture of narcissism's influence into the world of letters. It's a view that asserts that only those who have experienced pain or torment have a right speak of it, though others may participate vicariously through their eyes. Hence our insatiable desire for tell-all memoirs of every savage and degrading form of abuse — as long as the account comes directly from those who suffered it.

[...]

How many talk shows would have booked Seltzer/Jones if she had forthrightly admitted she was a white writer of imaginative fiction with a social conscience that impelled her to write about gang life in South Los Angeles?

From what I've read, Seltzer may have already adopted the Jones life story in college, before she began the book. And, as with the fraudulent James Frey, she reportedly had kernels of experience from which to fabricate... I mean, write.
 

"I just felt there was good that I could do and there was no other way that someone would listen to it," she said.

The connections between Spitzer's authenticity, his secret life and his desire to do good are quite a bit more convoluted.

Last week I also heard from the chronicler of crime and punishment, David Simon, creator of The Wire. He told Fresh Air's Terri Gross that, while some of the characters may have been based on real Baltimore figures, the plot lines came from the ancient Greeks.

The story of Client 9 may have come as a shock to Elliot Spitzer's family and friends, but not to Aeschylus.

On Taking and Giving.

The Web makes plagiarism easier than ever. You no longer have to laboriously dig for obscure but relevant passages and then copy someone's work letter by letter.

The Web also has the power to kill it. First, because the same tools that allow rampant stealing also enable detection. Second, because more readers are empowered to do the checking. And third, because it's so damn easy to attribute sources without cluttering up your prose or anchoring pages with footnotes.

Like this.

A longtime aide to President Bush who wrote occasional guest columns for his hometown newspaper resigned on Friday evening after admitting that he had repeatedly plagiarized from other writers.

I'm not going to use Tim Goeglein, who had been a Bush liaison to evangelicals and social conservatives, to make the claim that conservatives are more prone to plagiarism. But profiting from the work of others without sharing the wealth would certainly be consistent with the world view of the Bush White House. As for evangelicals, plagiarism could hardly exist, since they're already all reading from the same book.

*****

Speaking of giving proper credit, my brother-in-law retired yesterday after a 34-year career in law enforcement.

A man of few words, his brief speech concluded with "I wish I'd thought of this myself, but someone else said it — I'll miss the clowns, but I won't miss the circus."

Today, I wondered who did say it, but could only find one inverted version of the quote — from a retiring police sergeant from Johnson City, Tennessee. He gave credit to P.T. Barnum, but a search of Barnum quotes didn't turn it up.

It wouldn't be the first time Barnum got saddled with something he didn't say.

But then who originated such a fitting quip? Is it possible the words have just been passed from police department to sheriff's department around the country at retirement gatherings like this one?

Last night, Gerry and I sat drinking beers. You couldn't find two men much less alike politically, vocationally or recreationally, and we never would've met but for one thing — we both love my sister.

After meeting her, he did a very hard thing — especially for a man in his business. He packed up and left a job as a police chief in a small Vermont town to allow her to pursue her FBI career.

If you think you've had a tough time finding a suitable new job in your field, try that sometime. The conservative and naturally skeptical boards who review law enforcement candidates will doubt you can fit in working at a lower level — and wonder what's wrong with you and what the real story is.

His first job after turning in his chief's badge was as a security guard in a now defunct Denver mall, but he persisted and got back into police work. After another move, he found a position in the Mesa County Sheriff's Department, where he spent the last six years. In a classy move, the sheriff honored Gerry's long service as if he'd been at the department all along.

As we talked last night, Gerry wondered aloud about whether he'd taken the right road. It's a weird job, hard and thankless. A lot of cops don't make it 34 years and certainly don't leave ready to move on into an exciting new direction, as Gerry is about to do. It's got to be tough to look back and wonder what kind of dent you made in a world still so full of distress and dysfunction and the crime that comes with it.

But judging from all I know, there's an authentic P.T. Barnum quote I'd propose.

"We are all, no doubt, born for a wise purpose." And some of us, like Gerry, are fortunate to find it.

At Least I Followed Some of the Instructions.

Notebook_2 I have a friend who faces the monumental task of emptying her parents' house. The parents are deceased, the house is in another city, its contents concentrate a half century of living there, and other priorities intrude.

Naturally, I want to help. so I do what any good friend would do. I offer advice — mostly on the order of Nike advertising slogans.

So much for theory.

In practice, however, I have spent the better part of an entire morning emptying one filing cabinet, which already contains the distillation of three prior moves.

Though in a court of law, I could swear to doing it, "emptying" is not quite the whole truth. A more accurate description would be, removed the contents and redistributed them as follows:

  1. One-sixth in the trash
  2. One-sixth in recycling
  3. One-sixth foisted off on offspring, assuming he shows up in the next week
  4. One-sixth to the thrift store, assuming they will accept empty slide carousels; otherwise, double the first item
  5. One-third to another filing cabinet, which may be the same as doing no. 3, only 20 years from now.

The approach I actually recommend. but do not follow, involves no sifting, no sentimentality and rapid movement of large quantities of material into categories 1 and 2, possibly after giving 3 and 4 a preview, provided they do the hauling.

PolioHowever, once again, I have simply moved boxes of slides and old photos to a slightly more organized version of the chaos in which I found them. I have set aside two weapon systems brochures I created, just to remind myself of what an astonishing range my writing career has covered.

As instructed, I have retained the only record on the planet of my polio vaccinations. I have refiled notes for books that will never get written, some of them scribbled on the backs of '69-era rock concert handbills.

There are love letters. A business card from my brief sales career. Headshow

Somehow, a binder containing songs, poetry and ladies' club skits written by an unknown great aunt landed in my hands after a prior family emptying somewhere in Kansas. It's a quality of writing I'd normally ridicule.

But seeing the eulogy to a stable boy copied out in longhand multiples  and the typed poems with edits scratched here and there, I feel like the wounded Clive Owen in Children of Men, entrusted with the last pregnancy on the planet.

If I am all that still stands between Mrs. Brookshire and oblivion, then I should stand a bit longer.

 

Letter from Home.

22967734_2 Granddad's giving up the garden.

I wanted to cry, "Don't stop! Just make it smaller." But it's already much smaller than the one we remember.

You and I know know he's already worked it long past when most men would have stopped.

Like everything.

There are things I've given up, too, but I have time to start over, try again, break out in a new direction. At least, I like to think so. Granddad just kept going no matter what.

And now he's giving up the garden.

I would have thought he'd work it to the end until the invisible thing took the hoe from his hands and even then he'd lie down with his cheek on the upturned soil, so fragrant and ready to take him in and not at all like the smell of cool clean sheets turned down one last time.

Granddad's not just giving up the garden. If that's all it was, I wouldn't be asking you to come home.

Thinking Blogs

A couple nice compliments flew my way last week.

The first was being tagged by Charles at Views of Minnesota for being one of five blogs that make him think. This qualifies me to display the Thinking Blogger Award, but I find that little homunculus a bit disturbing, so I will only show it here this once. Thinkingbloggerpf8

I don't display my Spotty awards, either. Is it ungracious not to? But these are awards "won" with one vote. I realize that's a bigger margin than George W. took to the White House in 2000, but once taken out of context, it might assume more importance that it actually signifies.

Anyway, to fully merit the award, I'm also supposed to tag/link to five other blogs, thus setting up another dilemma. Having won an award with one vote, I am now being encouraged to devalue my win by multiplying the number of winners in a viral fashion.

Links in my posts already indicate blogs that make me think, laugh, get mad  or agree. Calling out five right now fills me with angst. First, who will I have to leave out? Will they be hurt? What will people think if I don't have five provocative choices? But if I don't list any, will that come across as arrogant, as if no one can make me think? If I break the chain, will my cats die?

I'll spare you the rest. But if you know of an award for over-thinking bloggers, feel free to nominate me.

The other kind words I appreciated even more. They came in an email from a reader I knew was out there but have never met:

I must  confess something to you......I have been a very conservative Christian for  many years. I have voted straight Republican for most of my voting life (21  years) and have been one who wouldn't even listen to the other side. Every  time a Democrat came on tv, I would turn it. I went 8 years not listening to the President when Clinton was in office.

I am very, very disappointed  in what the Republicans have shown me in the past several years. So much  hypocrisy. So, this election year, I am actually listening to BOTH sides.  Don't know who in the hell I am going to vote for and don't really even want  to vote but I am a former soldier and feel strongly that I am not serving my country if I do not vote.

It is through your blogs that I have become more open to the other side. So, thanks for what you do!!! You really  have a talent and passion for getting the truth out  there.

I consider myself amply rewarded.

Danny Hoch: There Goes the Neighborhood.

Dannyhoch4web_2 "Hip-hop playwright" and performance artist Danny Hoch is previewing his new work-in-progress, Taking Over, one last time Saturday night, Dec. 8th, at the Playwrights' Center, 2301 East Franklin Avenue, in Minneapolis.

Through entertaining character monologues, this work explores hip-hop, race, class and urban gentrification in the Williamsburgh section of Brooklyn.

Hoch creates deftly revealing moments that careen from hilarious to heart-rending. Money is moving in and cluelessly rolling over people who now look back on the neighborhood's worst days with new regard, when a murder and drug arrest seemed more real than a well-stocked aisle in Whole Foods. At least it was theirs.

A street-side black woman watches neighborhood kids and directs their activities as she describes how she is able to walk out of the new French bistro with free croissants because she's invisible to everyone else.

A man returned to the 'hood after a Rockefeller sentence talks up a production assistant on an independent film shoot, trying to hustle some day work as his momma watches from her window. He's not looking for money, really, just a shred of respect.

The f-talking developer who's overseeing the neighborhood's "resurgence" from crack alley to $1.5 million one-bedroom flats runs through a polycultural workout with his personal trainer as he's interviewed by the neighborhood paper. He explains why his progressive beneficence deserves a Real Estate Nobel Peace Prize — "I build habitats for humanity" — but he has no sympathy for those he's evicting, if after two or three generations in this country they couldn't get their shit together and move to the suburbs.

The city will eventually belong to the rich, so people who want to live there better figure out how to get rich.  Those who live there now might as well accept reality. Now that their neighborhood is finally getting rid of crack vials and getting art galleries, soy milk and decent vegetables, those who've lived there all along can't enjoy any of it.

In twenty years, the ghetto will be in the suburbs where it belongs — like in Europe — and the poor will be on the other side of the moat.

The new tenants dress like poor people, muse in their journals, do the Stairmaster and eat spiced-down ethnic dishes. "They don't wanna live in a fucking safari. They just wanna visit once in awhile."

Just go visit Brooklyn Saturday night.

Typographic Mind Meets Typing With Thumbs.

Eric Black, the historio-reporter turned blogger, was one of the Strib writers I learned to appreciate long ago. His in-depth pieces, steeped in historical and political context, made me go back and look for the writer's byline until I began to recognize he had earned a patent on that kind of story.

He  moved sideways into blogging at the newspaper with The Big Question — which invites discussion about stories of the day but has also unfortunately distinguished itself as a flytrap for lib-con animosity. He brought in D.J. Tice in a gesture of Across-the-Great-Dividism — admirable, but a bit easier to do when the other guy is also a journalist and co-worker.

Black was on one exploratory edge of blogging at the Strib, working from responsible argument and learned context. As Black sometimes hesitantly walked around the pool testing temperature and depth, James Lileks sang loudly from the middle, splashing on his back, spewing water spouts, surrounded by his inflatable toys and a flotilla of synchronized swimmers.

We know who the newspaper kept. A-yep.

Now, after taking the Avista buy out, Black has jumped in with personal blog called Eric Black Ink. Even after The Big Question and his two months of practice laps, he sometimes seems to be wearing a suit, and it's not a Speedo.

This stuff is harder than it looks, and for any acculturated, 30-year journalist, it is probably much harder than they imagined. Just for starters, they must resist their conditioning not to express opinion or lunge for the laugh; ramble untethered to copy editors; self-publish instead of dumping copy into newspaper content management systems; get suckered by their new freedom from space limitations; think visually and multi-dimensionally.

And without the mother ship's brand and built-in audience, they must build their own.

Earlier this week, Joel Kramer and MinnPost.com were met with cries from the blogger community that these old-line journalists may be a bit cavalier in their assumptions about blogs and online media. These people are all smart and experienced and accustomed to doing their homework. (Cripes, Black took more than two months after he first appeared with his new blog to "launch" it. This blog went live 45 minutes after I first checked out Blogger.)

I think the bigger issue is not seriousness or understanding, but whether some of them can actually adapt. Or will discover they want to.

Black clearly wants to, and his blog is a noble undertaking that I hope succeeds. Still, it seems telling that one of his featured posts this week is about the typographic mind, based in part on a chapter with that title from cultural critic Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death:

Citizens of a culture that relies fundamentally on printed words — such as America at the time of Lincoln and Douglas — develop habits and mental abilities very different from those of consumers in a society that is dominated by broadcast images, Postman wrote.

Minds shaped by typography were more logical, better able to pay attention, and better prepared to understand complex arguments, Postman felt, whereas those shaped by TV have short attention spans, a dearth of background knowledge and tend to be addicted to amusement, so that even a political debate is judged largely on its visual images and its entertainment value.

Postman wrote the book, subtitled "Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business," in 1985. It's still a good read, but his argument that the Age of Exposition has given way to the Age of Show Business needs updating.

Postman continued to write about culture and technology until his death in 2003. His 1992 Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology and Building a Bridge to the 18th Century: How the Past Can Improve Our Future will give you an idea of the arc he was on.

Momentarily, as we rest here, decoding linear sentences and semi-coherent thoughts in a new medium, it may seem there is still some hope for the Eric Blacks and his/my bretheren. But it seems virtually every one under age 40 today skips the newspaper, walks around with a camera and types with their thumbs.

As Postman said: "To a man with a camera, everything looks like an image."

As I say: "Those who cannot remember the past are only condemned to google it."

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