I know you didn't come here for trenchant political analysis, and I will not disappoint.
I have never before revealed my secret system for reading the true leaning of candidates, but it is simple and infallible. Tonight's Republican Presidential Debate provided an excellent chance to test it against the field.
Although these shots were culled from other online sources, they reflect what I saw when watching the debate.
Here's all you have to do. Observe the candidate when speaking. You can immediately place them on the political spectrum without hearing their words.
Giuliani — the only "liberal-ish" Republican. I don't care for him and certainly don't trust him, but he came off pretty well.
Romney — a middle of the roader all the way who makes John Kerry and Jimmy Carter look decisive. He, not Fred Thompson, should play the empty GOP candidate should The West Wing ever be revived. Of all the "debaters" I think he succeeded in appealing to no one but the emptiest suits in the audience.
Huckabee — you could see why the preacher might be gaining in Iowa. I liked his answer to the "do you believe every word in the Bible?" question. Basically, he said, I've got a theology degree and I don't understand all of it. We should get the simple stuff like Love Thy Neighbor right before we start arguing over the hard parts.
The rest — different flavors of conservatism, none of whom is much of a gun guy, despite the tough talk.
Paul — it's a very good thing he doesn't practice as an ob-gyn, but I can see why he makes the hearts of libertarians go pitty-pat.
Tancredo — why did Gravel get the hook and not this non-entity?
Hunter — he's a hunter. No photo necessary.
McCain — what he did to Romney's answer on torture should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention as cruel. Effective, though.
Thompson — keep talking, Fred. You were a lot more compelling as the mystery meat candidate.
The system?
Only the real conservatives expose their lower teeth when talking.
UPDATE:
According to The UpTake, 48% of the local attendees at a 1280AM The Patriot viewing party favored Ron Paul, with Fred Thompson a distant second with 15%.
It looks like if the Republicans win with those guys, we're not going to Mars. It'll come to us.