The pasque flower, which heralds spring in the prairie, is just now showing its sweet face in this cold clime. But the politics here are already jungle-hot. Minnesota is ground zero for what may be the most expensive Senate race in the country. And even bar hours have become political.
— "Long Hot Summer in Minnesota," Froma Harrop
Okay, I'm sitting in Colorado writing about Minnesota right now. But dude, I've been there, and I'm willing to believe Froma Harrop has never seen a pasque flower (the South Dakota state flower) or a St. Paul bar in her entire New York born and bred life.
Spare us the fake local color and overwrought metaphors to stitch your research together, dearie. Next time buy a plane ticket before you pretends to write from flyover land.