If you haven't read "Best Wishes to You Both from Uncle Charlie," you should start there.
I figured I'd snatched the card away in time. The newlyweds had their hands full preparing their escape (Garrett, a mechanic, had rigged a remote starter on his car, so it was running and ready to go as they left the church).
It would be hours at the very least before they'd turn their attention to the gift pile. By then, I'd have a new envelope, addressed to the bride instead of the bridesmaid, and could slip it on a table at another reception at my brother's house that evening.
No one would ever know.
I thought I might reveal my brain malfunction to a few family members at the party that night. But it wasn't the time. My niece and her husband were there, and there was no reason to make Katie think on her wedding night that an uncle who'd known her all her life couldn't pick her out of the herd. Plus, there were too many people who didn't know me from a preppie pimp running for congress. I play the eccentric uncle, not the family idiot.
So the next night, at a dinner with just a few family members present, I decided to try my story out first on my brother, the father of the bride.
That's when I learned the other side of the story.
When I dropped my envelope at the front of the church, one of Katie's friends immediately took notice. She ran into the back room where final bridal preparations were taking place.
You're not gonna believe this! she howled. Somebody left a card for Garrett and Jen!
Far from being kept in the dark thanks to my envelope switch, the bride and groom went to the altar knowing there was a bozo somewhere in the sanctuary. They just didn't know it was me.
In fact, I wasn't even on the list of suspects. After all, it made sense to assume someone from Garrett's side of the family might be vague about the bride's identity.
When the gifts were brought home, Katie and Garrett immediately ripped through the cards to find the one with her sister's name on it. They were puzzled when it wasn't there.
And there the mystery would have remained.
But I believe in karma. If you are going to be an opinionated SOB, you must admit when you put your foot in it. Hard as it might be to come clean to my niece, it was the right thing to do.
So now, in addition to cash which will soon disappear into the ether, she has a wedding story that is likely to last a bit longer.
